I gave up teaching eight years ago, but it hasn't given me up yet. I had another one of those dreams last night that teachers the world over would instantly recognize. These always wake me up feeling that I've narrowly escaped something dreadful. My classroom this time (which for some reason I felt was in California?!) was an old fashioned one, with wooden floors and and many tall windows, wood tables and chairs. It was about as wide as an old classroom, but probably the length of my house. I think there was a shoe store for the kids in the far end. There were wooden cabinets all up one side, but they were all full of stuff. It was a high school, attached to an elementary and middle school, and my room, which I reached late, after asking for directions many times, was on third floor west. Once you closed the door, you couldn't hear anything from the outside. Upon arriving, I instantly had to start my class (about thirty) on the first part of a standardized test, with rigid no talking, read the directions exactly as given, give only this amount of time rules. Which I did. Then there was an announcement to hold off on giving the next part of the test, no explanation given, keep your kids quiet, leave the answer sheets on their desks, etc. Which made absolutely no sense. We stayed in that room for hours, with no explanation from on high, and just keeping my kids in their seats was like nailing jello to a tree. The kids weren't malicious, they just looked puzzled when I told them to go back to a seat, stay out of the hall, stop talking, etc. They would obligingly head towards doing that, then when I wasn't looking, go back and do whatever they wanted. My frustration level kept rising exponentially. Then I noticed there were dark clouds outside, and I stepped into the hall and heard the storm drill bell. I thought, "we can't leave standardized testing!" but obediently tried to herd my kids out to sit in the hall. I felt like a hyperactive border collie trying to make oblivious sheep move. When we finally got back from that, of course there was then a fire drill. Since I was new at the job, I didn't know where I was supposed to take them, other than outside, so I started barking again, figuring downstairs and out would be a good direction. Apparently I didn't pick the right place, because we walked out through lines of elementary school children (did I mention I had high school kids?) on one side and the athletic classes on the other. We passed a glassed in pool area, and it was raining outside. Somehow we magically were back in the classroom, and it was almost time for the last bell to ring. As in real life, my kids all wanted to be out in the hall, ready to run as soon as the bell rang, so I was back in border collie mode, and some of them kept escaping. I finally quit going after strays, and held on to the ones I still had in the room. The last bell finally rang, and I went around trying to rescue the test forms to turn in and stormed up to the office to find out why we had been put through such a useless and tortuous day. The first administrator I came to looked shame-faced but only shrugged his shoulders and I never did find out why the day was wasted, what school I was in, or who had talked me into stepping into a school again at all.
I do get to see some very unusual classrooms, although I feel like my throat should be sore from all the screaming. Someday I'll tell you about the classroom that has huge aquariums with very complicated ecosystems and bizarre fish.
If you know what these dreams mean, or why I keep having them, don't tell me. I probably don't want to know.
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